comedian Eric Haines FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

Will your act fit on my stage, and how is it rated?

I adapt every show to fit the audience and the stage. My comedy club/ Nightclub show is completely different from a family– friendly fair and festival set. My act can be structured into a G to a PG-16 format. I can work any size stage, but for the unicycle routine or comedy stilt routine please allow approx. 12 x 16 stage area.

Is your act clean enough for my corporate or business event?

Yes. Please discuss what you are interested in having me do. Do you want a show with late-night T.V. content, or a kid’s show that is entertaining for adults? Tastes vary widely. Are you offended by the Simpsons? If so, you will not like my material that is social satire, no matter how clean it is. My act is considered network T.V. clean, even in a nightclub, but I will adapt my show to have content that is acceptable to you. Please read my referrals and quotes if you have questions.

Sure it’s clean, but is your act funny enough for my comedy club?

Comedy comes first– the variety is just a device to get to the funny stuff.

Do you do the six foot unicycle and stilts in every show?

No. On some stages there is not room.

Why don’t you just do comedy?

My show is based upon my curiosity about all types of performing. I sing, dance, act, juggle, write songs, etc. and have a genuine love of entertaining people. I enjoy performing for all types of people, whether at a corporate party, a comedy club, a family-friendly stage at a fair, or a biker bar.

Can you provide sound and lights?

For private shows I often provide a sound system and lights. Please contact me well in advance to arrange this. If I need to fly to the event the client must provide adequate sound and lighting.

I have a company picnic at a park with all ages. Suggestions?

I would recommend a 45– minute comedy show, family-friendly, and strolling stilt characters afterward. Please contact me to discuss sound system arrangements for outdoor venues.

Where did you get the monkey? I carved him out of wood. Giuseppe took 2 weeks to design and build. Where did you get the song/ background recording ? I write and record my own music. If I use a background track it’s me playing the different instruments using a multi-track recorder. How about the prop/costume/ joke? I write my own material (material means jokes and patter) and build my own costumes, sets and props, except for factory-made juggling clubs and balls. I build things I could probably buy somewhere, but building and designing is a part of my creative process as much as writing material is. Everybody is a little obsessive/compulsive, this is just my area to be a control freak.

Do you lip synch? No.

What are your technical requirements?

Corporate : If I fly, the client needs to be sure that they will be able to see me, hear me and have no other distractions during the show. For that they must provide a front sound system (in-ceiling speakers will not be adequate) and front lights focused on the stage. The show should begin after dinner, dessert and any awards or announcements are completely through. There should not be any other events going on during the show. (Examples: “casino night” tables/ display booths/ television sets, etc. should be shut down for the show.) Giving away raffle prizes after the show is over is fine.

Stage set-up: Ideally a 12x16 stage area with ten feet of headroom. The back of the stage area should be against the wall, not in the middle of the room.

I will happily consult with you and give a detailed description of how the room should be set and how the event should be structured to make the show and the entire evening a success.

Sound: I bring a mic mixer to input my headset mic, guitar cable and CD player into the sound system with one cable. I need an XLR input (That’s a regular microphone cable) into the sound board. I also need one open electrical outlet. If there is a full professional set-up with a sound man and multiple inputs, please call me for requirements.

For some corporate functions within driving distance (under 300 people) I am able to provide sound and lights.

Stage size questions?

The comedy club videos on this site were shot in comedy clubs with a 4x8 stage and a seven foot ceiling.

I do sets at fairs and casinos using a six foot unicycle and ten foot tall stilt characters that require at minimum an 8X12 stage with at least 8 feet, preferably ten feet, of headroom.

Please contact me to discuss what routines would be most effective and appropriate for your venue, and I will give my recommendations for a stage size.