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Comedian Eric Haines |
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Comedy, juggling, music and variety for short attention spans. |
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Frequently Asked Questions |
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Frequently Asked Questions Will your act fit on my stage? I adapt every show to fit the audience and the stage. I can work any size stage, but for the unicycle routine or comedy stilt routine please allow approx. 12 x 16 stage area. Is your act clean enough for my corporate or business event? Yes. Please discuss what you are interested in having me do. Do you want a show with late-night T.V. content, or a kid’s show that is entertaining for adults? Tastes vary widely. If a client is offended by the Simpsons, I'll leave out my material that is social satire, even if it is considered clean by the general population. My nightclub act is considered network T.V. clean, but I adapt every show to fit the audience, whether it’s an adults only audience or a kids show. Please read my referrals and quotes if you have questions. Sure it’s clean, but is your act funny enough for my comedy club? Comedy comes first– the variety is just a device to get to the funny stuff. Do you do the six foot unicycle and stilts in every show? No. On some stages there is not room. Why don’t you just do stand-up comedy? My show is based upon my curiosity about all types of performing. I do stand-up, sing, dance, act, juggle, write songs, etc. and have a genuine love of entertaining people. I enjoy performing for all types of people, whether at a corporate party, a comedy club, a family-friendly stage at a fair, or a biker bar. Can you provide sound and lights? For private shows I often provide a sound system and lights. Please contact me well in advance to arrange this. If I need to fly to the event the client must provide adequate sound and lighting. I have a company picnic at a park with all ages. Suggestions? I would recommend a 45– minute comedy show, family-friendly, and strolling stilt characters afterward. Please contact me to discuss sound system arrangements for outdoor venues. Where did you get the monkey? I carved him out of wood. Giuseppe took 2 weeks to design and build. Where did you get the song/ background recording? I write and record my own music. If I use a background track it’s me playing the different instruments using a multi-track recorder. I have a joke that I heard that would be good for you to use in your act. No thank you. I write all my own jokes. Do you go on the internet to get your jokes? No, I write them myself. Where do you get your props/costumes/ jokes? Slow, are we? I write my own material (material means jokes, songs and patter) and build my own costumes, sets and props, except for factory-made juggling clubs and balls. Can I use your songs and jokes for my act? No. write your own jokes. Can I use your songs in my podcast? If you call me and ask, I’ll probably let you use them for that. Just ask permission. You didn’t buy the monkey at a store? No, I carved him out of wood. Building and designing is a part of my creative process as much as writing material is. Everybody is a little obsessive/compulsive, this is just my area to be a control freak. I want to be a comedian– my friends think I’m funny. Not exactly a question, but I'll answer it anyway. Go to my News and Links page for resources about that. Do you lip synch? No. Do you have technical requirements? Yes. Look in the blue box to the right to see them. Are you the guy who does the one man band routine at Seattle Center? No, our styles are very different. He can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/user/contrapparatus
Web site design and content © copyright Eric Haines 2008 |
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What are your technical requirements? Corporate : The client needs to be sure that the audience will be able to see me, hear me and have no other distractions during the show. The show should begin after dinner, dessert and any awards or announcements are completely through. There should not be any other events going on during the show. (Examples: “casino night” tables/ display booths/ television sets, etc. should be shut down for the show.) Giving away raffle prizes or awards after the show is over is fine. Stage set-up: Ideally a 16x16, or at least a 12x16w stage area with ten feet of headroom. The back of the stage area should be against the wall, not in the middle of the room. I will happily consult with you and give a detailed description of how the room should be set, and how the event should be structured, to make the show and the entire evening a success. Sound and lights: For some corporate functions within driving distance (under 300 people) I am able to provide full sound and lights. I prefer to do this, if it is at all possible. If I fly, the client must provide a front sound system (in-ceiling speakers will not be adequate) and front lights focused on the stage. When using house sound, I bring a mic mixer to input my headset mic, guitar cable and CD player into the sound system with one cable. I need an XLR input (That’s a regular microphone cable) into the sound board. I also need one open electrical outlet. If there is a full professional set-up with a sound man and multiple inputs, please call me for requirements. Stage size questions? In a banquet room, please put the 12x16w stage against a long wall of the room. The comedy club videos on this site were shot in comedy clubs with a 4x8 stage and a seven foot ceiling. (Smaller than your living room.) I do sets at fairs and casinos using a six foot unicycle and ten foot tall stilt characters that require at minimum an 16X16 stage with at least ten feet of headroom. Please contact me to discuss what routines would be most effective and appropriate for your venue, and I will give my recommendations for a stage size. Q: Why is eating dinner during a performance a bad idea, Eric? Isn't it like dinner theater? A: At a hotel banquet room, the tables are usually large round tables that seat about 8 people. In order to eat, everyone has to sit facing their plate, which means half the audience has their back to the stage. People naturally talk to one another during dinner, which adds to the distraction. In addition, if you laugh with a mouth full of food, you may choke or spit it out, which is unpleasant. In order to not choke, many people don't laugh, which makes it look and sound like the comedian is not doing his job. If all that weren't enough of a distraction, the servers come by to collect the dinner plates and put dessert on the table. The performance should start after dessert is served. I wouldn't want any customer to waste their investment in entertainment when it is so easy to start the show just a few minutes later in order to be successful. Doing a comedy show during dinner is like giving a sales presentation at a hockey game. |
